Sudah sudah la...

Assalamualaikum wb..

It's been a while since I last wrote in this blog. I've been quite busy lately. Alhamdulillah...I now get to do what I have been planning all these while. Life is at peace..finally.. even though someone is still 'meroyaning' from far...hahah...

I was again accused of making a complaint..gosh..please la..you have too many people that hate you! Why should the complainant be me? I have better things to do than spending time complaining about you lah!

In fact you are lucky that I didn't, because if I do, I'm sure the authority will have to spend half a day at least reading my letter of complaint!!! Panjang berjela la weyy kalu aku nak complaint pasai hang....you are history! Tak payah dok perasan orang nak mengata pasai hang la...cheq banyak keja lain laa..

Cheq teringat gambaq Korea tu ada satu part, "You are not even important for people to have rumours about you!!

So, in conclusion, please be grateful that I didn't ok, otherwise you'll simply have to face the music. I won't let you step on my head again...not ever! If you choose to fight me, I swear to Allah, that I'll  fight you all out this time..and it's definitely worth it..try me...

Well...I choose to be happy and I won't let you make unhappy again...not ever again! Didn't you have enough all this while demeaning me and my predecessor??

So, you choose, and I'll take your challenge this time...and I'm sure Allah will be with me..

Cucu tok salleh musa alghaji ni ok...
Awat Cheq

MY FEARS

JUN13
201294 COMMENTSWRITTEN BY CHEDET

1) Lim Kit Siang is reported to have said that I am working hard to ensure the Opposition will not win because I am afraid when the Opposition Government is in place, it will act against all my “misdeeds” when I was Prime Minister.

2) No doubt he is inspired by what happened to Gadaffi and Mubarak. He would love to see me dragged to the courts and sentenced to death or to at least a life sentence. Maybe like Gadaffi I would be murdered.

3) He is right. I am afraid. I am afraid of the kind of abuse of power that has already been shown by one of Pakatan’s great leader who got a senior police officer to frighten Dr Ristina and Ummi Hafilda into withdrawing Ummi’s letter to me.

4) I am afraid of the fabrication of charges so as to put me behind bars. That I am innocent would be irrelevant. What is important is Kit Siang’s satisfaction at seeing me behind bars and more.

5) Other than this I am not afraid. I had always been careful not to abuse the power I had as PM because I was mindful of having to step down and lose power at some stage. If I had abused power my detractors would gleefully expose me and strive to put me behind bars.

6) In fact this has been tried.

7) Since retiring I have been questioned by the police and the AG’s office several times. I was also made to appear before a tribunal to be questioned by all and sundry, including representatives of the Bar Council.

 So far nothing could be pinned on me.

9) The anti-corruption people can even now investigate whether I have ever received illegal gratifications, whether I have detained or thrown people into jail for personal reasons, whether I benefitted personally from any of the projects carried out during my time.

10) I have not taken anything that is not mine. In fact all gifts given to me, many very valuable, have been given to the Government including a score of expensive cars. They can be seen in Langkawi or at the old PM’s house in KL. I must admit that I ate some of the fruits given me to prevent them from going bad.

11) I had not allowed my children to do business with the Government or to be candidates in elections though they have been offered several times when I was PM and President of Umno. Only after I stepped down did I allow Mukhriz to contest.

12) Whatever money I now have is from savings during 29 years in the Government. My salaries were not big. But the Government took care of my housing, water and electricity, my travels. I don’t even spend much on food as I get invitations to functions like weddings etc.

13) I was therefore able to save my pay and allowances.

14) Except for Mirzan, my children did not get any scholarships. I believe Mirzan paid back what he owed MARA. He had the scholarship before I became a Minister, in fact when I was expelled from UMNO.

15) I have bought or been given no shares except for 200 Malayan Tobacco shares I bought long before I joined the Government. Other shares are the Unit Trusts issued by PNB and State Governments which I was obliged to buy. I own shares in MICO pharmacy in Alor Star which I set up when I was a private practitioner.

16) I am not interested in getting rich or living a life of luxury. What I have now is far more than I had hoped for when I was dreaming as a student. I am grateful to Allah for what I have and for sparing me to live this long.

17) I am ready to go when my time comes. I am conscious that all that I have will not accompany me to the grave.

18) But for as long as I can I will work hard to prevent evil people and crooks from destroying this country that I love.

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Awat Cheq: Dah lama sangat cheq dok dengaq depa nak dakwa Ayahanda Tun M ni..dakwa lah awat hangpa tak dakwa? Pasai hangpa tak dak evidence kan? Kalu dah tak dak, dok la sengap2..ni dok meraban tak tentu hala. Wajah Ayahanda Tun M ni makin tua makin berseri. Co hangpa tengok muka pemimpin pojaan hangpa tu, makin terok muka! Pigmentation pon tak terok lagu tu aih...tu pon hangpa tak nampak lagi ka? Awat la jadi lagu tu cheq oiii..co bawak mengucap banyak2....haishhh...

FORGIVENESS..

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

-- Mahatma Gandhi

The past few days have been very gloomy to me. The sun was shining every now and then, but my heart saddened by the fact, I had to convince myself really hard to forgive that someone.

Coming here is second chance that Allah has given me. But looks like I've wasted on tolerating people's strange behaviour. Even more strange to me that the behaviour that I need to deal with are with so called highly qualified people.

I was or still am expected to take sides or choose ' a camp' for survival here. Yooo..I'm here to make as many friends as possible...why should I indulge myself into other people's problems and mess..I wasn't even here when all those weird things happened. Why should I be on anybody's side man..gosh..

I am known for my friendly, happy go lucky nature..why should I make enemies? You have your enemies..deal with it..don't drag me with you man..I may be your colleague..but to team packed with you and hurt others..sorry..mak cheq marah ok...!!!!

I wrote letter of 'luahan perasaan' couple of times. But my dear ayang haji advised me not to send any as he is very sure that it will have no effect on the relevant party. God..my man has spoken..I know I should listened...I should..

But I can't leave this place with heavy heart..from 5 pages of letter..I finally wrote a page and only words of forgiveness that I've uttered. I deleted the painstaking part and yup..hopefully he will read it with open heart..

I wanted to say it personally but he left before 5pm..Allah has planned it that way...so..I realized that some things are better left unsaid..

So..Ya Allah Ya Rabb..forgive me for all my wrongdoings..even though in this particular matter not sure what were they..but I must have tripped on people's toes without realizing it...forgive me Ya Rabb..I pray to you that I will have better days ahead of me and I'm sure after a year of turbulence, You must be sending someone who will work better with me..after all I am here to work and to provide my service with Your Guidance Ya Allah.....

Lead me to the correct path and give me all the courage, motivation and strength to provide my best service to all my kids, brothers and sisters here...

To You I seek forgiveness Ya Allah..may You too open his heart and repent for all the wrongdoings that he has committed to us all...

Though it's hard..really really hard...I want to forgive him..I really do...cause I want to lift the heavy weight that has been pressing my mind and heart all these while..

For those who have supported me in every way you did..I truly appreciate your true friendship...may Allah bless us all..

To that someone..I wish you all the best and may some day you repent in your own silent way what you have done to the people around you...

You have a faithful wife, mature kids and don't let Allah take that away from you..Sometimes, Allah has his way to punish us..If He doesn't punish us the parents..He will punish our kids for all our sins...none of us would want that, wouldn't we?

Bon voyage and may your future undertakings promise you a better life..a more meaningful life..Insya'Allah...my sincere prayers are with you..

Alhamdulillah..I guess I feel much better after letting all the miseries out of my chest..wooshhh...they've been there far too long...

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me... 

--Anonymous

The oldest woman to become a first-time mum in Britain has admitted it was a ‘mistake’ not to have had her daughter earlier

Copyright: Rex

She made headlines in 2008 when she became a mum for the first time at age 57 following IVF treatment, but four years on Sue Tollefsen has revealed she now believes it was a mistake to wait so long, and wishes she’d had daughter Freya sooner.
In an interview with UK magazine Closer, Miss Tollefsen said that despite initially defending her decision to become a mother so late in a life, a recent bout of illness has hammered home the reality that she might not be there to see Freya grow up.


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Awat Cheq:


Alhamdulillah dah 57 tahun umoq pon Allah masih bagi rezeki nak ada anak kecik. Kalau kat Malaysia ni, harus doktor tak bagi sebab takut cacat dan sebagainya.


Cheq pun kalu Allah nak bagi rezeki anak, cheq mau la. Anak cheq dua saja. Tu pun dah besaq panjang. Sorang dah masuk universiti, yang sorang lagi dah Year 11, kira Form 3 kat Malaysia.


Masa muda cheq dok kira pulun nak dapat degree la..masters la...Bila dah tua (tak la ganyut lagi..hihihi..) baru dok teringin nak ada anak lagi.


Kalau la ada sapa2 yang nak bagi anak depa kat cheq, kecik tapak tangan...(lupa dah lagu mana nak sambung!) cheq mau...Tu la cheq geram sangat bila ada yang dok buang2 anak. Bok mai sini, bagi cheq bela. Sunggoh aih..cheq mau..


Kalu tak dapat jugak, alamat cheq kena tunggu jaga cucu la. Masalahnya, takut Allah dah panggil cheq dulu, tak dan nak bela cucu pulak. 


Apapun , cheq bersyukur Allah bagi anak berdua ni. Muga Allah jadikan anak2 cheq anak yang taat pada perintah dan suruhan Allah dan anak yang menghargai kedua orang tuanya dan anak yang akan berbakti kepada masyarakat.


Pendekata. biarlah anak-anak cheq berdua yang akan memandikan jenazah cheq, mengkafankan mayat cheq dan berdoa agar ibu dan abahnya ditempatkan Allah bersama para mukmin dan mukminat serta orang-orang yang soleh. Insya'Allah.


Awat Cheq.


P/S nama dok teringin - Muhammad Khalifi dan Shafiqah Ilhan

Kak Min With Love..

 Allahyarhamah Dr. Yasmin Osman dalam kenangan..

(I will always love you...)

7 Mac 2012


Deringan telefon tepat jam 10.15 malam mengejutkan cheq. Ringtone khas untuk Che Ee menandakan panggilan yang cheq tak mau terima dan dengaq. Dah seminggu hati cheq berdebaq-debaq takutkan panggilan ini. Akhirnya, janji Allah pada hambaNya sampai juga...

"Sal, Min dah tak da Sal..Dia dah tinggaikan kita". Itulah kata-kata Che Ee..sahabat dunia akhiratku.

Cheq tak mampu mengucapkan apa-apa. Hanya tangisan mengiringi berita yang amat sedih tu..Setelah agak lama, cheq kumpul kekuatan untuk bertanya, "Senangkah cara dia pi...?"

Che Ee terdiam dan menangis sungguh-sungguh. Jarang cheq tengok Che Ee menangis. Tapi orang yang kami tangiskan tu payah dicari. Sahabat dunia akhirat cheq.. Che Ee memberikan jawapan yang cheq nak dengar, "Insya'Allah Sal..Min dah pi dengan tenang".

Lepas ni tak dak lah "Kak Min" dalam Yahoo Messenger yang akan berchatting dengan cheq. Bila kak Min nampak cheq online, dia pasti akan chat walaupun sat saja. Cheq akan merindui chatting2 Kak Min..dialah yang dengaq keluh kesah cheq..cheq sedih sangat...

Walaupun baru berapa tahun saja cheq mengenali Kak Min...dia pastinya seorang sahabat..seorang yang kita boleh berharap bercerita suka dan duka. Boleh bagitau kita salah atau betol..bukan seorang kawan yang hanya bersandiwara. Dia tumpang gembira dengan kejayaan kita, dia tumpang sedih bila kita dilamun duka...

Kak Min..I will miss you dearly. Next to Suriah, you are one friend that I will treasure forever..there will never be another "Kak Min' for me...

Thank you Kak Min..you will always be remembered...

 “We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say goodbye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can’t turn the hourglass over.” – Unknown

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” – Headstone

Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart.-Wonder Years

Muga Allah akan ampunkan segala dosamu..dan diringankan segala ujianmu dan semuga amal dan kebaikanmu didunia ini mengatasi segala timbangan keatas insan sebaikmu Kak Min. Sesungguhnya orang-orang sepertimu hanya layak di Jannatul Firdaus yang kekal abadi. Muga di syurga itu nanti...kita akan bertemu kembali..

Sal sayang Kak Min dunia akhirat..

Thank you for being you.. wherever you are..you will always live in my heart.

Anak Aset Syurga atau Neraka

Salam semua. Semalam cheq sedih dengan anak cheq yang tinggal solat semasa pi camping. Berjurai-jurai ayaq mata cheq bila mengenangkan anak cheq ni meninggalkan solat dengan alasan tak sempat. Bukan cheq nak bukak aib dia disini tapi cheq sedih dia antara ramai anak yang telah melalaikan solat. Mungkin ini juga balasan Allah pada cheq kerana semasa cheq muda2 dulu..seringkali cheq abaikan solat...nau'zubillah...lani baru cheq tau macamana arwah mak cheq rasa bila anak2 dia melalaikan solat dengan sengaja.

Mak..ampunkan orang ya mak. Insya'Allah orang akan terus bersabaq macam mana mak sabaq masa didik kami dulu. 'Ya Allah..ampunkan dosaku...janganlah kerana dosaku, anakku pula yang akan menanggungnya....

Dalam dok sedih2 lepas solat Isya' semalam, cheq melayari You Tube dan ternampak beberapa video agama. Ni yang dipost oleh anak2 didik cheq dalam Facebook pagi tadi. Jadi, cheq terus melayari dan merasa amat insaf sekali...

Jadi, cheq paparkanlah buat diri cheq, suami dan anak2 kat sini...cheq terpikiaq jugak, esok2 cheq mati, sapalah nak mandikan jenazah cheq kalau anak cheq tak beratkan solatnya. Dahlah anak lelaki...nasib baik la puteri cheq tu cukup didikan agamanya..dia kuat..insya'Allah..cheq tak takut akidahnya akan terpesong...mohon Allah akan terus meletakkan kedua putera dan puteriku di landasan keimanan dunia dan akhirat...

Berbalik pada video ni...masa arwah bapak cheq meninggai dulu, kami tak dibenarkan memandikan mayatnya dengan alasan dia lelaki. Malah untuk ke kuburnya pun adik beradik bapak cheq tak bagi pi. Cheq geram sungguh masa tu..tapi apalah daya cheq...cheq dok sekolah lagi waktu tu..

Tapi 18 April 2000, masa arwah mak cheq pi buat selamanya, orang yang memandikan mayat meminta kami semua anak2 yang mandikan jenazah mak cheq. Memang satu pengalaman yang amat memilukan tapi alhamdulillah kami adik beradik telah memandikan mak....

Bapak..mak...doa cheq muga mak dan bapak kini di syurga Jannah..bahagia di akhirat sana. Jika diizinkan Allah, kita akan bertemu di sana nanti. Harapan cheq, sebelum cheq bertemu mak dan bapak, biaqlah anak2 cheq yang akan memandikan jenazah cheq...itu hadiah terakhir depa buat cheq nanti..insya'Allah..

Buat anak2 ku...hayatilah video ni...muga kalian berdualah yang akan memandikan jenazah ibu ni satu hari nanti bila ibu menjadi tetamu Allah nanti..itu wasiat terakhir ibu pada adik dan kakak...jangan hampakan ibu ya.... adik dan kakaklah harta dunia akhirat ibu..


Salam kasih sayang buat anak2ku berdua....muga kalian tidak sesekali akan mengabaikan solat dan akan menurut segala perintah Allah SWT..Insya'Allah..
Ibu.

NPD: Narcisstic Personality Disorder

What is narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissism is a term used to describe a focus on the self and self-admiration that is taken to an extreme. The word “narcissism” comes from a Greek myth in which a handsome young man named Narcissus sees his reflection in a pool of water and falls in love with it.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called dramatic personality disorders. People with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, and a distorted self-image. Narcissistic personality disorder is further characterized by an abnormal love of self, an exaggerated sense of superiority and importance, and a preoccupation with success and power. However, these attitudes and behaviors do not reflect true self-confidence. Instead, the attitudes conceal a deep sense of insecurity and a fragile self-esteem. People with this personality disorder also tend to set unrealistic goals.

 

What are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder?

In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder:

• Are self-centered and boastful
• Seek constant attention and admiration
• Consider themselves better than others
• Exaggerate their talents and achievements
• Believe that they are entitled to special treatment
• Are easily hurt but might not show it
• Might take advantage of others to achieve their goals

Other common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:

• Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or love
• Belief that he or she is “special” and unique, and can only be understood by other special people
• Expectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wants
• Inability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of others
• Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
• Hypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame, and humiliation
• Arrogant behavior and/or attitude

 

What causes narcissistic personality disorder?

The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from extremes in child rearing. For example, the disorder might develop as the result of excessive pampering, or when a child’s parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.

 

How is narcissistic personality disorder diagnosed?

If symptoms are present, the doctor will begin an evaluation by performing a complete medical history and physical exam. Although there are no laboratory tests to specifically diagnose personality disorders, the doctor might use various diagnostic tests—such as X-rays and blood tests—to rule out a physical illness as the cause of the symptoms.

If the doctor finds no physical reason for the symptoms, he or she might refer the person to a psychiatrist or psychologist, health care professionals who are specially trained to diagnose and treat mental illnesses. Psychiatrists and psychologists use specially designed interview and assessment tools to evaluate a person for a personality disorder.

 

How is narcissistic personality disorder treated?

There is no known cure for narcissistic personality disorder, but psychotherapy (a type of counseling) might help the person learn to relate to others in a more positive and rewarding way. Psychotherapy tries to provide the person with greater insight into his or her problems and attitudes in the hope that this will change behavior. The goal of therapy is to help the person develop a better self-esteem and more realistic expectations of others. Medicine might be used to treat the distressing symptoms, such as behavioral problems, that might occur with this disorder.

 

What are the complications of narcissistic personality disorder?

People with narcissistic personality disorder might abuse drugs and/or alcohol as a way of coping with their symptoms. The disorder also might interfere with the development of healthy relationships with others.

 

What is the outlook for people with narcissistic personality disorder?

The prognosis depends on the severity of the disorder.

 

Can narcissistic personality disorder be prevented?

There is no known way to prevent narcissistic personality disorder.

 

References

Janowsky David, "Chapter 30. Personality Disorders" (Chapter). 

Ebert MH, Loosen PT, Nurcombe B, Leckman JF: CURRENT Diagnosis & Treatment: Psychiatry, 2e: www.accessmedicine.com/content.aspx?aID=3289431.

Young John Q, "Chapter 26. Personality Disorders" (Chapter). 

Feldman MD, Christensen JF: Behavioral Medicine: A Guide for Clinical Practice, 3e: www.accessmedicine.com/content.aspx?aID=6441825. 

Mental Health America. Personality Disorders. www.nmha.org/go/information/get-info/personality-disorders Accessed 8/29/2011

© Copyright 1995-2011 The Cleveland Clinic Foundation. All rights reserved.

 

Awat Cheq:

Patut laa...rasanya lepas 2 -3 kali cheq baca, cheq dah boleh 'cuba' maafkan depa agaknya. Macam kawan baik cheq kata..."Sah dan terbukti..sakit rupanya!'. So, kita yang tak sakit ni, walaupun kadang2 jiwa tak tenteram dibuat oleh depa ni..namun takkan lah kita nak marah orang sakit kan...

Kat kawan baik cheq tu..thank you so much la sebab bagitau ada penyakit nama lagu ni. Lepaih ni kalau depa buat lagi kat cheq, cepat2 cheq nak kata kat diri cheq..."Sakit rupanya..". So..org yg ada NPD ni..kira kategori orang Mental Disorder lah kan..takkan kita yg tak gila ni nak pi marah org gila...nama pun dah gila. Kalau depa waras..takkan nak buat kat orang sampai lagu tu kan...tak pa..tak pa..nak ampun  terus dosa tak boleh lagi la..tapi pelan-pelan cheq akan ampunkan dosa depa..insya'Allah...

Nak tergelak pon ada..nak tak berapa percaya dgn penyakit ni pon ada..manalah tau..kot2 saja buat2 gila kan...haishhhh..mcm2 ada...donia...donia...

Apapun..2 minggu ni cheq banyak tumpukan masa pd keluarga cheq. Baru cheq sedaq..akhirnya keluarga jugalah yg akan bersama cheq walaupun selama ni cheq sering abaikan depa..maafkan ibu tua ni ya puteri dan puteraku..muga Allah akan terus bagi kebahagiaan kat kita..ibu rindu kat abah..

Salam Maulidur Rasul buat semua. Muga sifat Nabi Muhammad, Rasullullah SAW yang akan terus menjadi ikutan kita...Insya'Allah.

As salam.